We begin this weekend of celebrations together in thanks.  God, god of our ancestors, god of winds and valleys, in whatever form you are, we thank you.  We give thanks for bringing us here to this day, together with friends and family, who have nurtured us and helped us come to appreciate all we have.  We are thankful for the food tonight which was brought forth from the earth by the sun and the farmers.  We understand there is something that holds the sun, the land, the farmers, and our families together in a delicate balance, and for that great blessing, we say amen.    -Taylor Krauss 

Welcome by Taylor Krauss

It was about 10,000 years ago, after the last glacial thaw began, when the first hunters and gatherers began passing through the lands on which we are assembled today.

They had lithic stone tools for hunting, and agriculture wasn’t even a glimmer.

When the Tesuque people settled in the valley that spans below us, about 1,000 years ago, they brought farming to these lands, irrigating fields with the rivers and producing corn, squash, and beans.  [We are not sure if they used fertilizer, or how they went to market.]

Climate change forced their migration, and it was the Spanish explorers next, around 400 years ago, who gushed at these purple mountains and red soils … and then the Mexicans who staked claim, and the Navajo and Apache, whose battles over cattle ended with reservations … and then the Americans.

Suffice it to say, this view has always been borrowed, but today, May 3, 2014, it is ours for a few moments, because Eric and Margaret wanted to bring us together from all corners of the globe, to witness these twisted cedars and cacti, the breeze and unbroken sky, and the love they share with each other.

Eric and Margaret, this is a gift you have given to us, but we too come bearing our gift … I’d like to ask both of you to look around at all of the faces assembled.  This is the ecosystem of your own roots, and each of us is here to write new history with you today, and to affirm with our presence that we stand behind you with the support you need as you venture into life united.

Of all the rituals enacted on these ridges or the valley below, whether harvest dances or astronomical celebrations (of which the Pohlman family knows something of), the rite of marriage is most enduring. I stand before you today in awe of this rite, which has spanned across time and geography. 

And act which can evoke a range of emotions from the painful to the joyful inherent in the inevitable passing of the torch from one generation to another no matter where it takes place around the globe:

Inspired that marriage itself, as Joseph Campbell puts it, “is not a simple love affair, it’s an ordeal, and the ordeal is the sacrifice of ego to a relationship” in which two forge new identity in relationship.

I remain amazed by the gravity that is marriage – the decision to spend the rest of one’s life with another, a decision that requires such a massive leap into the unknown (and yet is compelling nonetheless, or perhaps even more so on account of that edge we so rarely move beyond). 

Perhaps that is where Eric and Margaret dance, to the song of plans and vision, and palpable resolve about the next chapter, while simultaneously understanding that uncertainty gives them life.  

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The Story of the Bodacious Blessing  by Kathy Kennedy

Eric and Margaret have asked for our “benediction”.  “Benediction” - the good words to invoke the divine for guidance and blessing.  I could say a humble blessing as a single, ordinary woman.  But they deserve a bodacious blessing.  Together we can invoke an extraordinary blessing.  Will you help? 

Then we are going to tell the story of the bodacious blessing.  You will know the story because it is all about us.  You will need to do 3 things:

1. You will need to remember.  (hand on heart)
2. You will need to kiss the bride and her groom (blow a kiss)     
3. You will need to shout for joy.  (raise arms)                            

Are you ready?

Once upon a time there were 150 people.  They came from all over the earth, and together they went to the top of a mountain.  Everyone could tell that it was a sacred place – that it had been carefully chosen, and that it had been touched by the divine.  They came to that place at that time because a bride named Margaret and her groom named Eric asked them to come to celebrate and to bless their marriage. 

The people blessed the groom and his bride by remembering why they had come to this place at this time.  They each remembered the story of their love for Eric, for Margaret, for both.  They were present to that love, and thus, the bride and her groom were blessed. 

The people also remembered all the others who loved the groom and his bride, but who could not be there in person.  They remembered the ancestors of Margaret and Eric.  They remembered Great Grandma Margaret and Great Grandma Amelia for whom Margaret Amelia was named.  They remembered Eric’s grandparents and great grandparents who loved the very idea of Eric even before his parents were born.  They remembered Pablo and many others who were now present in their hearts. 

And they made present in their hearts the living ones – Mimi and Jane, Eleanor and George and their children who were caring for them at that moment.  They remembered Desire, and teammates, and friends from Georgetown, and farmers.  They made present in their hearts 100s more who loved the bride and her groom.  And thus their blessing was magnified 100s of times over. 

The people wanted to be sure that the groom and his bride always remember how much they were loved.  So all together – all 150 of them –on the count of 3, blew a kiss to the bride and her groom.  (1-2-3 blow a kiss.)  And thus, Eric and Margaret would forever have an image in their mind’s eye of their bodacious blessing on that special day.

It seems impossible that the angels did not hear the people invoke the bodacious blessing, but this was too important to leave to chance.  So all together, with one voice, they shouted with joy: “God bless Eric and Margaret!”  (raise arms)  That was good – but only the earthly angels heard that one.   Once again: “God bless Eric and Margaret!”  (raise arms)

The bride and her groom were married.

They all came down from the mountain.  They ate.  They danced. 

And that day, the angels blessed each and every one of the 150 – multiplied by hundreds - so they could love and support the groom and his bride every day for the rest of their lives.           

The End

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Life is meant to be shared by Jack Newcombe

I love Hunter S. Thompson. I think he is a brilliant writer and love his work.

I also think he is completely wrong about something.

Thompson writes,“we are all alone, born alone, die alone, and…we shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way.”

Life is meant to be a shared experience. 

Just look at the animal kingdom. Swans mate for life. Even otters hold hands. But people are slightly more complicated than our feathered and furry friends.  We are not perfect but we’re the most amazing species on the planet.

The difference is that we have rational thought and the ability to make choices based on a logical progression of analysis: gas or brake, send or delete, accept or deny.

However, what complicates us isn’t our ability to reason, but rather our inability to act rationally due to our emotions. Emotions can overcome any rational thought process.

For example, I watch most football and basketball games alone yet I consistently yell at my television. Rationally, I know that the players cannot hear me but my emotions take over.

Rational thought aside, the emotion of love is what brings us here today. It’s what brought Pohlman and Margaret together. It’s what fuels their work. It’s what ignited my friendship with Pohlman and kept us on the crew team for four years.

Contrary to what Mr. Thompson says, when I look back on my life, all I remember are the times when I was surrounded by people and felt love.

I remember sweating profusely and trying not to vomit from exhaustion during crew practice. I remember late night dance parties in apartment F107.

And I remember how much I looked up to Pohlman when he moved to Africa, when I found out what a big deal the One-Acre Fund was and when he introduced me to Margaret.

A few months ago, I asked Pohlman why he thought he liked living in Africa. He answered in the moment but in typical Pohlman fashion, followed up a few days later with an extremely thoughtful, detailed email. He explained that what he loved about Africa was the sense of community.

It’s a shared experience. Just like rowing. Just like dancing. Just like marriage. Just like life. 

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The Greatest Happiness  by Gina Scheiss

Margaret and Eric,

You’ve heard it said that a wedding is a day, but a marriage is a lifetime. Beginning with your “I do’s”, you will start your journey living out your love story.   Cherish this bond; it is unique because it belongs only to the two of you.

As the two of you commit your love to each other, always remember the qualities that attracted you to each other and how you felt as those feelings of attraction turned into respect, admiration, and finally, love.  Work hard to turn your feelings of love into acts of love, comforting, supporting, and encouraging each other.

Let your love be the best part of your lives. Always know that it will make everything better – the good things, great and life’s challenges, bearable.

Believe in each other; support each other’s dreams and always dream together. Always give more than you think the other needs. Say “I love you” every day. Remember to say “thank you” to each other. Be fun, be romantic. Stand together. Know when to listen – just listen to each other. Know when to talk. Apologize. Forgive and forget – doing so will make you feel better. Work together, play together, pray together.

As the two of you join together and commit your love to each other, remember the lessons of love that you have always known. Let your love comfort, support and encourage you. Always know that it will make everything better and it will make your world a place of happiness.

Allow God to be the foundation of your marriage. You have been chosen for each other… it is His plan. Let Him be the third leg of your marriage stool, making it safe, secure, and stable. With each passing year, you will grow closer together, drawing strength from one another.

The two of you are now one. You are blessed with the greatest happiness there is in life – to love and to be loved.

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Selected and read by Linda Pohlman

 “A Marriage” by Michael Blumenthal.

You are holding up a ceiling
with both arms. It is very heavy,
but you must hold it up, or else
it will fall down on you. Your arms 
are tired, terribly tired,
and as the day goes on, it feels
as if either your arms or the ceiling
will soon collapse.

But then unexpectedly,
Something wonderful happens:
Someone, a man or a woman,
Walks into the room
And holds their arms up
To the ceiling beside you.

So you finally get 
To take down your arms.
You feel the relief of respite,
The blood flowing back
To your fingers and arms.
And when your partner’s arms tire,
You hold up your own 
To relieve him again

And it can go on like this
For many years
Without the house falling.

(ad libbed line: “It’s a metaphor!!!”)

 “On Children” by Khalil Gibran from The Prophet

“And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, ’Speak to us of Children.’ And he said,

‘Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you, but not from you. And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love, but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies, but not their souls, for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward, not tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children, as living arrows, are sent forth. The Archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that HIs arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the Archer’s hand be for gladness, for even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.'" 

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Blessing by Taylor Krauss

Eric and Margaret, you make all around you proud of what you have accomplished, proud of who you are, and proud that we are in this circle.

You are my definition of what it means to live the good life: To live well and to live justly, in search for a moral community, and if you cannot find it, to build it.  You both seek to share in something larger than yourselves, and at the same time understand your role in contributing. You take ideas seriously and conversation seriously, and people seriously, and there can be no better gift in the world.

No doubt, the undertaking with which you have engaged together may at times be a challenge for your families, who see the children they bore, and siblings with whom they grew, planting their roots in faraway lands. And yet, they above all, must be the most proud witnesses of how you have chosen to live in the world, because you carry them with you, in stories both painful and light, when you inhabit those distant hills.

They have known you as individuals who have longed for a place and in relationship where you have found it.

Margaret, you have shared with me how Eric is where your travels end.  And Eric—the ineffability and self-evidence of your love for Margaret. Those of us who have witnessed you come together, and seen you begin to build together, recognize the goodness and beauty in this. The kind of beauty we often forget to see in the world that at times feels so broken, that makes us thankful for the forces that brought us here.

Margaret, you are sensing and kind, and generous by default. You spring to action when you hear the call, and yet are also ready to let the glass of Pinot breathe. I once overheard you saying with zeal: “Oh it smells so good!  Our gardenia’s 7th blossom!  This plant was struggling for 2 years and now it’s thriving!” You are inspiringly powerful, in life, the field, and the kitchen, and always ready to smell the gardenias.

Eric, the baker of breads, is your rival in power as someone who inhabits the magical world of conjurers, who lives life with a yawp, and understands and embodies the nuance between the kind of ambition that creates and that which destroys. Spending time with Eric is an opportunity to learn about oneself, and to witness one great effort to fulfill human potential.

Both of you are constantly at work to create, evolve, and learn.

I have seen how you are your best selves in each other’s presence, how you treat each other at good byes, and how merging your spheres has only amplified your best qualities. Both of you have a way of treating your friends with reverence, and making us feel as if we are the most important people in the world, and as is clear from these past few months, will do everything to ensure your friends are safe and healthy.  Perhaps this is because you understand what Rav Heschel describes, that “something sacred is at stake in every moment,” and do your utmost to be present for it.

You are a windfall to your friends and family alike, and deserve the windfall in each other.

Leonard Cohen said that “Poetry is just the evidence of life.  If your life is burning well, poetry is just the ash.”

Let us complete this ceremony so you can continue burning.

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Eric,

Wherever I am in this world, when I am with you, I am home.

I love your preposterous vitality, your inner romantic, your brilliant imagination, your sheer competence, and your capacity for human connection. 

And so I promise to be your partner in all things:

I promise to respect you and be faithful to you in my words and my actions. 

I promise to support you in reaching your goals and your human potential. 

I promise to bring joy to our home. 

I promise to bring coffee to your office…which I hope will not also be my office!

I promise to give without counting.

I promise to push us to live a conscious, present, and full life. 

I promise to find real nourishment for our minds, bodies, and our spirits. 

I promise to fiercely protect our family and our community.

With you, I promise to celebrate the humor, beauty, and improbability of this life, every day. 

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Margaret,

This is the root of the root, the bud of the bud...

I love you.

I cannot explain the why of it.  I love you like I breathe air.

Here are my vows to you: 

I promise to love you with abandon, holding nothing back.

I promise to sacrifice in order to deepen our love.

In joyous times...I promise to twirl you in a spin of smiles.  To celebrate big and to give thanks often.

In difficult times...I promise to stop everything to be there for you.  To grieve together and to comfort each other.

I promise to be respectful to you in my tiniest actions.

I promise never to be complacent, never to think that our commitment in marraige means that I have the security to try less, to give less, to be less.  

I promise to live fully.  To grow continually.  I promise to take care of myself. Today you are marrying a better 52 year old than 32 year old. 

I promise to dance with you in the kitchen.

Margaret, I promise you that we are on the same team. 

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